Ikigai: On purpose

Ikigai (生き甲斐, lit. 'a reason for being') is a Japanese concept referring to something that gives a person a sense of purpose, a reason for living. (Wikipedia)

I began watching Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones on Netflix with my parents. The first episode takes place in Okinawa, Japan, and the last—and perhaps most lasting—concept introduced as a way to understand and respect the longevity of residents is that of ikigai.

I think we do this very American thing in the U.S. of overcomplicating this quite a bit. We make it tied to profession; we put it in a box of branding; we think we need to pitch it in an elevator and that it is one big, fixed thing. This is my life. This is my purpose.

But, wait: “More generally (ikigai) may refer to something that brings pleasure or fulfilment.[1]” And purpose can change in every moment. Maybe it’s meant to morph.

I’ve been looking forward to find my “purpose” rather than orienting to the here and now, the life being lived. The sunshine gives me purpose; writing this little thing brings pleasure and relationships give me the most beautiful reasons for living.

Ikigai; life on purpose.

May we always know our worth

A good friend of mine at work, who is an amazing human and amazing at her job (and does even more, like providing important and heartfelt support for diversity, equity and inclusion programs) was recently promoted. After she shared the news, I asked her how she was feeling, and she said, “Like it was well deserved!” And I loved that. Because it was. And because I realized how uncommon it is to hear women feel empowered to respond like that, without the learned, conditioned behavior of feeling like they, we, have to divert attention from ourselves, unnecessarily humble ourselves in what is a shining moment. “Yesss!” I responded. “May we always know our worth!” She, we deserved to honor and celebrate that. Her promotion, her worth.

May we always know our worth. (Especially in the workplace, as women!) And may we always remember that our worth is intrinsic and whole, always, without need to be proven or earned.

(But, also, like, an aside: We live and work in capitalism and I always tell people, especially women and people of the non-dominant corporate profile, ie: not a cisgender, hetero-presenting white male, to negotiate the first offer because when I managed a large team it was always the men, especially and predominantly of the dominant class, who always asked for more.)

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For Kaitlin—keep shining, Leo star!

Ask for what you want

I’ve been thinking about how it’s really such a gift to know what you want. For one to know what one wants, and in any moment, really. Because it doesn’t always come through clear, and sometimes it’s actually what other people want, or what we think other people want, or what we’re expected to want so we’ve accepted we want.

To know what we want takes introspection, reflection and connection to ourselves. And it also takes recognition and acknowledgment that it may come in an unexpected form. Like, knowing what we don’t want, or something we don’t want; that’s also knowing what want. Or, not knowing what we want about something big (something we really feel like we want to know what we want about) may take us on a path realizing many little wants that leads back eventually to knowing the big want, even if they seem unconnected. Like what we want for breakfast.

The best way to honor that gift of knowing what we want, I think, is to ask for it. Ask for it in its true form, too; not some version we think is going to be more palatable, or easier, or more “attainable.” Because we don’t actually know that the more (“)convenient(“) compromise we’re proposing is actually convenient or even desirable anyone at all, because we don’t really know what other people. And it’s definitely not for us, because it’s not what we actually want.

Asking for what we want takes courage, and that comes from the heart. The heart chakra, too, is conveniently connected to the throat chakra. A direct line to asking for what you want.

Posted on 8/8, the Lion’s Gate of 2022

Joy is a practicality

Doing something because you want to, because the act alone of doing it brings joy, happiness, delight is reason enough to do it. Just knowing you want to, without knowing how you’ll feel, that’s also reason enough.

You don’t need a “practical” reason. Joy, being—are practicalities enough.